Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
