I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sext me about skeletons
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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