No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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