Got a toothbrush?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
