ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
as a side note pls kill me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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