before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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