i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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