is your mom at the bar?
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
