I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
