Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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