So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
