so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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