btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
