I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
