She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
