New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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