Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
