so that wasnt chicken after all
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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