How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
