I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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