is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
