and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
