me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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