i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
