my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
