you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She needs sedatives and a leash
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
