Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
