I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
