Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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