3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
