so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
