I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
