dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
