We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
