i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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