the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
