Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
