Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
