My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
