If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
