My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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