I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
