is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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