The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
