If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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