I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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