Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
