We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
operation harelip BJ is a go
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
