He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
