Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
