the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
