Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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