So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
