I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
